If it isn’t perfectly clear by now, we are looking for Ho ho, oh hell, is it that time of year again? Already? When the muzak starts cranking out lousy Casio versions of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” non-stop? When the flavour du jour switches from pumpkin spice to eggnog every goddamn thing? When everything gets all twinkly and glittery and your eyes just want to roll out of your skull from the sparkle overload?
Worse: how about when every other person you come across wants to infect
« Back to War on Christmas We’re looking for deranged and demented stories and poems that snap back against all that holiday schmaltz. Our leanings are toward the dark, the speculative (SF, fantasy, horror), the flat-out weird, the humourous, but that covers a lot of ground. But basically, if it would piss off Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly or that stuffy old grandma that always gave you hideous socks for Christmas, we’re in. One cautionary note: it’s likely there will be a lot of Santa stories submitted. We’d urge you think more widely, especially outside the white, Judeo-Christian canon. There’s really plenty to hate about Christmas, so it shouldn’t be that hard.
Some guiding stars, if you like:
The Ice Harvest Robert Devereaux’s Santa novels Arthur C. Clarke’s “The Star” (not the wussed-out version they did on the Twilight Zone, neither!) Donald E. Westlake’s “Nackles” Neil Gaiman’s “Nicholas Was . . .” Joe Hill’s NO54A2 Damon Runyon’s “Dancing Dan’s Christmas”
This statistical information is an aggregation of submission data provided by our members. The more data we have the more accurate our
numbers will be so please be sure to log all of your submissions here and not just your rejections or acceptances.
There are 8 completed reports in the past 12 months.
Averages and Boundaries:
111 min | 142.83 mean avg | 146 median | 164 max days
50.00% - avg 139 days
25.00% - avg 150 days(100.00% of rejections are personal)
19 pending responses (127 min | 153 mean avg | 154 median | 180 max days waiting) Note: pending statistics may skew high if some users neglect their data. We recommend querying after the time the market suggests to query.